He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
