You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
