I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
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