Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
