let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
