it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Randomize