why didn't you poke me back
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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