what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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