she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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