So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize