none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
