dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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