grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
