Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
only if we run a train.
done.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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