Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
