I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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