i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
do nipples grow back?
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