everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Drake has all the answers
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