Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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