remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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