Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize