We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
There are leaves in my underwear?
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