He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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