I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
