Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
