I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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