No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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