Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
