Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
We left the knife in your bed.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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