Swine flu is the new snow day.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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