Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
