so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
