i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
