In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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