maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
