Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
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