What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
