Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
