addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
