There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
