Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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