i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
