Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
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