I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
