Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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