Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
So many bounce houses so little time
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
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