You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
