it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
