You made me cry and you don't even care
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
