she woke up with a sticky ear
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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