Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
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