Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
