i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
