I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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