She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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