My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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