I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
