Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize