We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
