i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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